The theme of 10 Conversations You Need to Have With Your Children by Shmuley Boteach is to teach your children to find their own way in the world by listening to their own, unique, inner voices. It’s a great message for all parents.
Boteach stresses the importance of interaction with your children. He says that everything that happens in life provides an opportunity for conversation, and you shouldn’t overlook those opportunities; rather, you should train yourselves to see them.
All parents can learn from Boteach’s book that making the investment in children by conversing with them and teaching them their uniqueness will reap rewards. Work on motivating your children to hear their inner voices, and it will inspire them to become better people. Boteach says, “Success is never immediate, and sometimes it’s nowhere in evidence, but talking to your kids really works.”
Boteach’s book also has four great lessons for improving communication skills with everyone you live with or work with. These are Boteach’s four lessons:
1. You can control your emotions by controlling your actions. When you force yourself to behave in a certain way, even if you don’t feel it, the action creates the emotion.
2. The foundation of every relationship and interaction you have is the “desire to know”. Much of Boteach’s advice is based on the premise that you have to find ways to be stimulated every day, and your relationships and interactions are a source of stimulation.
3. The world will be a kinder, gentler place if we each honor and exhibit what Boteach identifies as the “feminine qualities” we all have within ourselves, such as peacefulness, tenderness, nurturing, and relationship-building.
4. Show the people around you that you know you make mistakes and that you are seeking forgiveness. Furthermore, you should be willing to forgive those people who are seeking forgiveness from you. Boteach says, “An unforgiving heart is a heavy heart. When you don’t forgive someone, you become bitter, and that feeling festers, affecting you more than it affects them. When you forgive, the one you are truly freeing is yourself.”
The book has great lessons on parenting skills as well as general communication skills.
By Keith Grossman